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Future ponderings You know, I think about my future. My future with Mark, with my job. I wonder where I will end up. Often. I've been in and out of jobs, never sticking to one or finding the type of work I actually like. I still am not too sure about office work, but what else is there? I just don't think I'm cut out to spend a lifetime in one particular type of job or company. I think I'll always be moving every year/year and a half, possibly two years if I'm lucky. I'll gain experience and when I've had enough, I'll just move on. I think this stems down to the fact I don't think I'm particularly suited to anything. I can turn my hand to most office related tasks but I don't have specific things I'm wonderful at, thus I can't see myself working in a particular area, or forging my way through to a more profitable or responsible position. I just can't see it happening. Not for me. As for my future with Mark, I can see how I want things to work out, how I want them to be. I've been with him, and known him, for long enough to realise he is The One for me. He is the man I want to spend my life with, the one who I want to share every detail of everything I do, the man I want to marry and have children with. I want to spend every minute of every day with him. I love him so much. Does he want his future to be like this with me? I don't know. We talk about marriage and children. He wants kids, not yet, but at some point. But marriage? I'm not too sure. I don't think he is fussed either way. He wouldn't want a church wedding, no big deal, just a few friends and family. That's if he were ever to marry. But he does say at times that nothing between us would change if we did get married, I'd just change my surname. I hope he does want to get married, and would ask me. I really hope he does. I want to have friends and family with us, to see us exchange vows and to show we love each other. I want to know our future together is as one, as a unit. And damn, I want a wedding! Mark, hurry up, get down on one knee, produce a ring and ask me the question. I won't hesitate to answer with a "YES!" |