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Maturity Do you hate it when you see people from your year at school. People you knew but never really knew. People who seem to have grown in to themselves, to the person they are, have matured and just become different but are still the same person? It happened to me today. A boy from school popped in to the office, not too sure if he is in one of our fixing teams or not, but he came in to the office nevertheless. I recognised him instantly even if he had grown a ridiculous amount of facial hair, gotten rid of the spots, grown taller and filled out his body. He looked fit, atheletic, muscular. He looked much better than I remember. Not in a fancying him way, I just knew him as a short, spotty kid who was the clown of our year. Luckily he didn't recognise me so when he told me his name I feigned ignorance and walked away to resume my job whilst others dealt with him. I was able to be a bystander and watch him. Watch him with envy. I hate how I've become bitter and twisted about those my age, especially the ones I know from school. Everyone seems to have filled themselves with so much confidence (he practically swaggered with it) and is so self-assured. They act their age and are doing things people our age should. But I'm not. I'm still like the little school girl I was when I was 7. Unsure, scared, shy. Like a rabbit caught in headlights. This isn't a woe is me entry. I'm feeling fine, good infact, I'm just surprised how so many I know have become who they are. Why haven't I done that? Do I lack some kind of maturity gene I don't know about? I'm fascinated that I can watch from the sidelines, look at people I knew from 10 years back, notice no recognition in their faces whatsoever, and I can admire them for managing to do what I long for. I kick myself when I see it. |