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Hello I am absolutely knackered. I had a good night sleep but I still can’t shake off this tiredness. It must be because Winter is drawing in, the nights are darker, the temperature colder. Thank you for all your messages about Ollie. It’s a horrible way to lose him, but he died without suffering so I’m comforted somewhat by that. My sister has taken it badly although she seems to be dealing with things a bit better now. It seems Ollie was not the only cat that died at the weekend – another one just down the road was hit and died on the way to the vets in A’s arms. I’m trying not to dwell on the thought right now. On Saturday I was extremely brave and drove to Mark’s. He was at work, but those of you that know me will know how hard this was for me. I don’t drive outside of the town I live in. It’s my comfort zone and passing those boundaries is something I don’t do. I had made the decision the night Mark and I had the big argument, and because Mark had mentioned I keep promising to drive to his but haven’t offered I thought it was about time I did something about it. So Saturday morning I found myself driving along the M1 towards his house to leave a note in the door for him to find. He didn’t know anything about it and I wanted him to be surprised. He says he is proud of me and knows what a hard thing it was for me to do. I just wanted to show him I am willing to change and want to try. The drive was good; quicker and easier than I expected. By lunchtime when I was on my way back home the roads were getting busier but I felt fine and confident that I could deal with it. I was so proud of myself and just wanted to tell Mark but I obviously couldn’t. In the afternoon I went in to town with my other sister. We just wandered around the shops and had a look at a few things. I didn’t buy anything other than some sweets for my mum and sister. It was just nice to get out and about with my sister that no longer lives with me. I’m also trying to not just sit about and do nothing on my weekends, to actually get out and feel like I’ve had a weekend rather than a sneaky day off. Sunday however I did spend the day at home. I didn’t have much to do, I spoke to Mark a few times but just played around on the computer and read a little bit. Sundays are always boring for me. Yesterday at work was reasonable. The boss was in all morning but went out towards lunchtime and didn’t come back until 4.00pm. The day went pretty fast. I also found out A is going to live near me soon. He’ll be renting a 3 bed house just around the corner from me for about 6 months from 15th November if all goes well. We have even talked about coming in to work together to save petrol, plus picking up the new girl and receptionist on the way. Car pooling – the new way forward! |