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I don't want it Mark was here! Mark was here! He's gone home now though, he is doing his awful week at work from tomorrow: three 12 hour days (waking at 5.00am), day off, three 12 hours nights (waking at 5.00pm). I really hate this week, he gets so grumpy from tiredness. Bless. We had a good weekend although we didn't actually go anywhere. Mark got he late Friday night so we didn't actually do much before heading to bed. Saturday we messed around a bit, I sorted things out in my room and Mark looked on the internet before lunch. In the afternoon we had a nap and then took a walk to our local shop for lottery tickets - didn't win - and then we ended up playing games on the computer for the rest of the day and night. Today we woke up late and watched Sunday morning tv, Hollyoaks etc before having a belly filling lunch. Again I played around with games whilst Mark checked out websites. Nap time again, showers and then Mark headed home. Now I'm sad and dreading the fact I have to go sleep in a double bed by myself once more. I hate spending the weekend with him here only for him to disappear a couple of days later and leave me lonely again. I ended up being grumpy agin, I always am when he is here, because I thought things weren't going well. I want things to be perfect for him when he has a little time off from work, but in my mind they never are and so I get angry about it, going silent and ignoring Mark. I've got to learn to stop doing it. I'm just starting to worry about tomorrow and the meeting and interview I've got lined up. I just want the morning to be over and done with. To be honest I'm not particularly keen on this job. I know it's only an interview, and it's a job that gives me money and money is what I need, but I'm quite liking it at home at the minute, I'm not bored yet. The company is based about 15 miles away and so it would mean travelling a little bit each day and basically I want an interview with another job more local to me and that probably pays more too. Trouble is I've heard nothing back from the agency my CV went to. I'm just wanting time off to play around on the computers and to not do much. Plus I want to go to Mark's house on his week off a little earlier than I could if I had a job. In theory I've only had a week that I should have been working, and it doesn't feel like I'm actually out of a job because it's been such a short time. I don't know what I expect: 3 months off and then I'll feel it's time for a new job? Think I've got my hopes up and like this job and now nothing is worth comparing, and I promised myself I wouldn't get like this, that a job is a job and I need one. I guess I will just have to see how things go. Just because I have an interview it doesn't mean I'll get the position. |