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From bad to worse Today has been tough. Real tough. Now we all know my parents are oldies; step-dad 72 and mum 63, so they are getting on in their lives and need a little TLC from time to time, but recently my step-dad has been needing more than ever. Yesterday he went to the doctors about a pain that he has had in his hip for the past week. He is unable to walk on it properly, he now can't straighten up and he is in so much pain. He's not usually the type of guy to just sit and relax or ask for help but he has had to for the past couple of days. He looks grey and really looks his age, which is something that I've never noticed before. So because of this myself and my mum are running around after him, getting his food, his drinks, his medication and anything else he requires. We tell him to sit in his chair and relax, to get comfy and let his hip heal but he doesn't do it. He is constantly up and about making sure we are doing everything he asks just how he likes it. Earlier today a lightbulb went and he tried to climb on a chair to change it. Big mistake. He nearly fell over backwards and would have hit his head on the stairs because the knee of his bad leg gave way, but luckily my mum and I were there to catch him and soften his fall, not an easy job when we are small girls and he is quite a heavy and bulky man. He only then let on his knee had been giving away throughout the day, and continued to even after this event, when he was going up and down the stairs. He just doesn't want to admit he is hurting and feeling his age or that he requires help. We've now got him using a walking stick and using the stairs one step at a time. I think we are slowly getting it in to his head that he needs to rest, that he isn't as young as he once was and that he can't jump around doing everything. We are basically his carers and end up doing everything for him so things are getting a little tough and hard. What I'm worried about is this continuing long-term, even though he was told it's a muscular problem and in 6 to 8 weeks should be feeling better. His age isn't going to allow him to spring back to what he was. The family think he may end up having this problem for the rest of his life, even if it does ease a little over time. If so I'm worried how it will affect my mum, she's getting on and I don't want her pushing herself to her limits just to deal with him, I can't look after the both of them. My sister has actually started helping out a little, I think she's realised that even doing some small things helps us out in the long run, but even with her help it would still be me looking fter the pair for the majority of the time. Things would definitely have to change if he was to stay injured for his remaining years and was dependent on us. Top today off with my period starting and me snapping at Mark this evening over a stupid petty thing, and today hasn't been the best. I think he forgives me now though, I hope he does anyway. I finally got my early night last night and felt much better for it this morning. I woke up for once without a headache or groggy feeling and was much my perky self. I had been feeling like I was someone else and not compeltely all there. I also managed to finish of my book The Dog Walker by Leslie Schnur today so that's been added to my booklist. The next book I'm going to read is Warnings of Gales by Annie Sanders, which I have been informed is good. I'm still also trying to read my books about anger; Beating Anger by Mike Fisher and Overcoming Anger and Irritabilty by William Davies, but I tend to shy away from them. Although I've admitted I think I have a problem with my anger I just can't bring myself to read through these books and try to help myself. Pretty obvious I'm doing this when you look at the amount of times I've snapped at Mark for nothing. He doesn't deserve it and I should think about him when I reject looking at the books. It's not fair on him to put him through what I do. It's just another thing I'll put on my 'To Do List' (probably under Lose Weight) and I'll never get round to. This time round though, I will try. Maybe I should combine the two and exercise whilst I read! |