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Trying to make a change It's my mum's birthday today, so Happy Birthday to her! Get ready for it. I've a few quick things to mention and I hope to make a bigger entry about them sometime soon, but just in case I forget I want to make a quick note. First up. Christmas. I mentioned the Christmas Party a few entries back but everything has changed. Now it's a Masquerade Ball. And they want me to go. Because of this the women of the office have taken it upon themselves to try and make me feel much more comfrotable within myself. They want to take me out in small groups to get used to being in social situations, they want to take me shopping. It's nice but it does make me wonder what they really think about me to be offering this. It's not mentioned in a "charity case" way but like a friend to a friend so I do feel loved and liked in a way. Anyway, the dress they want me to wear is this. What do you think? Oh and another thing. Because I have such a distorted image of myself and want to do something about it but don't know how to change it, they are SERIOUSLY considering that I should go on How to Look Good Naked. Eek. To make things more surprising, I'm even thinking about it. apparently if you don't do the whole catwalk thing at the end when you are feeling good it isn't televised so I could apply and get 'Goked' and hopefully feel better about myself. He spends hours and hours talking you through your fears and how to feel better and we all think this is the thing I need. So. I'm trying to make a change and make things better for me. If this is maybe what it needs to allow me to do this then it's worth considering. The only problem at the minute? The questionnaire and photos needed. Questionnaire = no problem, as long as I'm honest in my answers. But the photos are what must put a lot of people off. They want three full length photos of you in your underwear (front, back, side), two full length photos fully clothed in two different outfits and a close up of your face without make up on. We'll see. Does this smack of desperation or of realism and courage for trying to turn my thoughts around? We know I hate my body and probably think my body is awful when it really isn't but at least I'm trying, right? |