My life, rated
09.01.2008, 10:48 p.m.
Work has been extremely hard today and I don’t know why but my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t concentrate on work. I think it might have something to do with the conversation Mark and I had yesterday, about sharing a flat and my money problems. I know he is right but I can’t help feeling disappointed by it all. It felt like such a quick and easy way to solve my problems, but that’s just it, it’s the thing I also don’t want, it’s like I’d be escaping my problems through the week but I know I’d be back at my mums every weekend to check everything is ok. I’d be making more problems than solving them. It’s not the right time for me, I haven’t got the finances to do anything drastic, I’m sure when it’s the right time things will sort themselves out in the end.
I need some serious motivation – to start saving some money, to stop biting my nails, to just do something with my life. I seem to be stuck in a rut and can’t move forward. My life is beginning to feel likes it’s on hold. Everyone around me seems to be moving on; either coming out of relationships, getting in to new ones or just moving their relationship up a gear. They are getting new jobs, promotions, learning new skills or changing career. I’m stuck, not doing anything and seem to be hanging in limbo. It’s like I’m hanging on to the end of a rope, scared of heights, and not wanting to look up or down. I just close my eyes and hope that when I open them I’m safe. I’m motionless.
I don’t think this is all due to the new year, it’s more than that. I have felt sort of stale for a good few months. But then I say this all the time and never do anything about it. I never help myself. So complaining is not going to get me anywhere. My job isn’t the greatest but I don’t look for a new one. I have no money but don’t save any. I have no skills but won’t start college or take an evening course. So it’s my fault really that I feel this way.
Argh... I need someone to knock some sense into this brain, or even to give me a brain to actually use. You’d think if I was desperate to get out of this situation I’d be frantically doing everything I can to do just that. I guess I can’t want it that much or I’m just too lazy. Or both.
Just because I like to jump on the bandwagon, I thought I'd do the quiz everyone else seems to be doing:
Your Life Analysis:Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score leaves room for improvement. You can make changes to improve your trouble areas, and this will bring you greater satisfaction. Focus on your weakest points and set about to change them. Do not delay your happiness and success.
Mind: Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is not bad, but could be improved upon. Your mental health is not weak, but you are not achieving full mental clarity and function. Learn how to unclutter your mind. Keep learning, keep improving, continue moving forward.
Body: Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. Your body score is fairly average, which means there is room for improvement. Keep a focus on your physical health. Protect your body as it is your most valuable physical asset. Nutrition, stress reduction, and exercise are key.
Spirit: Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. You seem to be lacking in spirit. Improve your score by refining your beliefs and searching for answers to philosophical questions. Consider new belief systems if your current beliefs are not rewarding you.
Friends/Family: Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. Your friends and family score suffers, yet it does not need to be this way. Strengthen your social network by reaffirming old bonds. Seek out new friendships, and they will provide you the reward you need.
Love: Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is in good shape, meaning that things are going well. Do all you can to maintain it, and continue to grow and move ahead.
Finance: Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. You have a rather good financial score, which is not all that common these days. Keep doing what works. Avoid common pitfalls and save for the future. You will be glad you did.
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7.7
7.1