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Couldn't care less I’m bored of this self pitying and whining attitude I seem to have attached myself to. I complain that I have such a negative attitude towards life, and is there any wonder when I constantly moan about things within my control. It’s time to start thinking of the good and better things to come. So with that in mind, Friday (18th) will be our 5th anniversary, ok it’s not a wedding anniversary but it’s an achievement for us considering the distance from Northampton to Cambridge and it’s something I would like to celebrate. Unfortunately I won’t see Mark until 1st February due to his shifts at work, but I thought I might treat us to a meal out then. Got to do something nice haven’t I? Might combine it with a Valentine’s meal too means we won’t be seeing each other the weekend after V Day. I know it’s a bit in advance but does anyone have any ideas what I can do/get him? Then to top the year off it’s Mark’s 30th birthday at the end of May so I would like to do something special then. No doubt he’ll be working then too so it will be the nearest weekend to it. I had been thinking about saving up my money and booking a holiday somewhere for us, however my boss has now declared she might have that week off to go on holiday too. (She obviously isn’t happy with taking all the Christmas holiday off again this year, but now has to have the time off I’d thought about originally!) With work, I’m going to take everything on the chin. If this contract doesn’t come our way then that’s fine. I may or may not be out of a job, but I can deal with it. I’ve whined about this job for a little while so if I’m asked to leave then it’s not like I’m leaving the “best job in the world” behind. I will get another job and I’ve got great people around me to support me until I do. My boss will continue to growl until she gets her own way. If things don’t go according to her plan she has a moan and that’s something I’ll have to accept. If she wants a holiday when I do then I have to understand she has the priority over me. I can’t and won’t be selfish; it’s just annoying when others are. I’ve always thought my understanding and kind characteristics were faults, and I still think they are, but it’s the person I am and if I end up getting walked all over then so be it. I’ve given up fighting, trying to be someone I’m not, and feeling hard done by. Things are always going to get in the way or happen and my feelings, securities and thoughts will be pushed aside. But as long as I’m happy outside of work then I don’t really care anymore. I think that is it; I’m past caring. Work is just work at the end of the day. It’s a way to earn money and nothing more than that, I don’t have a career I just work to make ends meet. I’ll still try and better myself, gain skills and improve my job possibilities. My social life and relationships with my friends and family are what are more important. As long as I’m happy... |